Awesome Confusion

I have come to the conclusion that my child will some day have a very difficult time with the true meaning of the word awesome.  Either that, or she will have an excellent understanding of sarcasm.

Lately, whenever she does the kinds of things that just make you want to give up the mother of the year awards, I simply say "Awesome."  

For example, in context.

Yesterday, Avery crawled through the cat gate in the laundry...

Taken after the fact - she's too quick through the gate

...so that she could open the dog food storage container...

Nothing to see here...

...and chow down on some delicious Eukanuba Senior Large Breed dog food.

I'm carb loading Mommy.

Awesome.

While I was doing some dishes, Avery used her now-patented climb on the chair to get access to the things on the kitchen table method to grab my fuel belt.  She began drinking the water in the water bottles.  I saw no problem with that, and continued doing dishes. Amateur.  

Next thing I knew, she was having oh so much fun with water.  

If I fill up these bowls, I can play some awesome splashing games.

Awesome.

While I was prepping dinner, Avery decided to be helpful and CLIMB INSIDE the measuring cup drawer.  

Just making sure you don't use the WRONG cup mommy!

Awesome.  Now you all know why I wash each measuring cup before using it to make food that we are eating.  Again, awesome.

This morning, Avery was enjoying checking out the tree, kicking ornaments, whatever.  And broke an ornament that was previously thought to be unbreakable.  

Don't mind me, I'm just enjoying the window seat.

An ornament that I have had in my possession for at least 12 years.  

My kid killed Bambi!

Awesome.

Avery has also discovered that the who-knows-how-old-they-are-because-I-reuse-them-every-year candy canes on the tree can be snapped in two and peppermint goes flying everywhere.  

Awesome.  

Because I thought she'd gotten the candy cane she'd snapped from my box of new candy canes, I ate one of said candy canes after it was broken.

Duh Mommy.  That's why I went with the paci.  Years old candy canes are nasty.

Awesome.


My poor child will be forever confused.  On the other hand, here a couple of things from today that actually ARE awesome...

A $1 vanilla cone at McDonald's drive through after your child has done many of the previously mentioned "awesome things"

And it's all mine!

Lending your running wife money to use while at work because she forgot her purse at home.  (and I actually had cash to lend for the first time in ages).

She's becoming a real wife...taking my money.

Getting into the Nike Women's Marathon in DC via the lottery when I never thought I actually would.

I put in a good word for you mommy.

When your kid looks at you like that ^, and you realize that all this not-so-truly awesome stuff makes for good blog talk and isn't THAT bad.


Do you have any words like AWESOME that you use to mean something other than what Webster's Dictionary says they mean?

Any AWESOME things in your life lately?